TRUTH THURSDAYS 14: CAN’T WAIT NO MORE

18-I-hate-waiting-quote

I grew up having my whole life mapped out for me.  I clearly remember my mom telling my 7 year old self that one day I would go to university in the States, become a surgeon like my late uncle, and buy her a mansion and a jet ski.  In fact, she used to clip out pictures of the mansion(s) I would buy her.  Not a lot of pressure for a 7 year old.

Well I worshiped my mother, and I’m an obedient kid, so I decided I would roll with this plan.  I did go to university in the States – but I soon realized that I HATED blood and science bored the crap out of me.  Not the best combination if you wanted to get into plastic surgery.  So I tried a bunch of different classes but nothing really interested me.  I ended up changing my major to business because I thought “if I can’t be a surgeon then I suppose being an entrepreneur will be the best bet to getting my mother her mansion.”

The truth was, business bored me to tears as well.  I did have other interests – fashion, writing, history, sociology, anthropology, psychology.  But due to the rigorous training/brainwashing I had gone through in my life I took one look at these subjects that I truly enjoyed and placed them firmly in the “impractical majors” pile.

So here I am, 28 years old and stuck in a job that I don’t really enjoy.  I want to break free and explore what I used to be good at – see if I can make a career of it.  Unfortunately there’s the little matter of surviving to think about – bills to pay, food, housing, clothing – the basics.  If only money wasn’t an option.  If only I could go 4 years without needing to work and just invest in going back to school.  I have all these worries and concerns.  But here’s the thing – I can’t wait anymore.

I’m getting older.  Going to work has become a soul-sucking experience.  I just can’t wait.  I need a change.  I need a MIRACLE.  I need God to step in and say “here – I’m opening doors for you.  This is what I designed you for.  This is the job.  The career.  The calling.  This is what will bring Me the most glory.  Here you go.  This is My gift to you – so you can give back to Me.  For Me.”

Lord, I don’t want to wait anymore.  But if You tell me I need to be patient, that You’ve already set the wheels in motion and all I need to do is sit still and be faithfully present in this season – I will wait.  When I can’t wait, give me grace.  I don’t want to go ahead of You.

 

Truth Thursdays exists to connect people through writing.  To initiate something honest, thoughtful, and meaningful.  Truth Thursdays is an open discussion of expressions. There are no right or wrong responses, Truth Thursdays are just what they are.

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