Today I let my hair do it’s own thing. Well, for the most part. I straightened my bangs and then left the rest of my hair alone – which resulted in a beautifully (to me) wavy mess. A guy friend at work asked me why my hair was wavy today. I replied that, actually, my hair was really really curly (but now wavy as I’m waiting for the effects of a straightening treatment to wear off). I just didn’t want to straighten it that day. I showed him a picture of me with natural curls. He took one look at it and said “I prefer your hair straight.” I wanted to hit him.
I get it. Everyone has an opinion. And I don’t need to get upset over every opinion that is different from mine. Everyone has a preference as far as what they consider beautiful or attractive and that’s fine too. But here’s the thing. You don’t have to tell me that what I look like naturally is not appealing to you. I didn’t ask. I don’t care. I don’t exist so I can tailor myself to what you think is aesthetically pleasing.
This man is a friend of mine. He’s one of the most unashamed Jesus lovers I know. And yet, what came out of his mouth was decidedly un-Jesuslike. What’s even stranger? He doesn’t think he’s being offensive. How crazy is that? That I live in a culture where telling someone you prefer them skinnier or plumper or with straighter hair or fairer skin is considered normal? Is it really OK to tell people that how God made them naturally is not beautiful? That they have to change what He had in mind when He designed them?
I’m a girl – I understand putting your best foot forward. But I’m talking about natural beauty here. I was designed by the Creator…who must have thought I’d look beautiful with naturally curly hair! I have the option to dry, curl, straighten my hair. God won’t look at me and say “hey, I made your hair curly so you better wear it that way for the rest of your life”. But He won’t look at me and go “hey, I made a mistake. You really look better with straighter hair” either.
So, to all the people that want me to have straighter hair, or put on more weight, or put on less weight. To all the people that tell me that having cellulite and stretch marks are not OK. To those people that have ever made someone feel ugly by being tactless and not careful with their words…
You don’t get a say.