the bermuda triangle of singleness.

In exactly 50 days I will be 30.  Another birthday I get to spend as a single.  UGH.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had lots of great birthdays.  And I generally love and enjoy my life.  But every year, like clockwork, there comes a point where I feel a little down.  It seems like my fabulous solo life…is a little less fabulous and a lot more…well, pathetic and depressing.  I call this time period the Bermuda triangle of singleness.  It consists of 3 months where singles feel like crap on a stick…namely December, January, and February.

For me personally, it’s more like a Bermuda square.  It starts in November – my birth month.  Do you know what being born in November means?  It means you were conceived in February – most likely around Valentine’s day.  How romantic is that?  Not so romantic if you’re a single.  Here I am, celebrating being conceived on the most romantic day of the year…and I’m spending my birthday alone. UGH.

here's a helpful visual for you...

here’s a helpful visual for you…

For most singles however, the Bermuda triangle of singleness starts in December, or as I like to refer to it: “that month where couples stare lovingly into each other’s eyes while sipping hot chocolate and snuggling in front of the fireplace”.  December is particularly painful for a single.  There is talk of kissing under the mistletoe, eggnog, hot chocolate, snuggling, fireplaces, s’mores, carriage rides through the snow, etc.  Something about the holiday makes it ideal for romance.  None of which you get as a single.  Okay that’s not totally accurate, we do get eggnog, hot chocolate, and s’mores…in abundance.  But let’s face it.  Life does not mirror While you were sleeping or Love Actually.

Then, just when you think you’ve made it through the holidays in one piece…January comes along.  Or rather, New Year’s Eve to be exact.  Now it’s all about having a special someone to ring in the New Year with, to kiss when the clock strikes midnight.  Or at least to have a friend confess his undying love for you in true When Harry met Sally style.  The reality is more likely to involve New Year’s Eve parties where people get wasted on cheap booze and you end up wondering why you bothered to go out and if it’s too soon to leave so you can crawl into bed and eat ice cream while watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model.  I’m just keeping it real…

Finally, there’s February – hello Valentine’s Day.  The day made to make every single in the world feel inadequate and lacking.  Also the day the price of flowers goes through the roof.  I don’t need to explain this further right?  Suffice it to say my involuntary gag reflex kicks in at the sight of paper hearts.  Which basically means I’m barfing through the first half of February.  It’s not a pretty sight.

But don’t despair – once a single makes it through this patch of rough water…there’s land ahoy.  March is in sight.  And nothing lifts a single’s spirits like sunny skies and summer fun…

…right?

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